5 Ways to Actually Enjoy Playing Pickleball With Your Significant Other

We’ve all seen it: the couple who walks onto the pickleball court smiling and leaves barely speaking to each other. Don't let this be you.

I swear I’ve witnessed a few relationships hanging on by a thread after a mixed doubles match. Even pro players have strong opinions about whether they’d want to partner with their significant other.

There are plenty of articles about how pickleball can help you meet your significant other. This one is for after you’ve already found them.

Whether you’re playing recreationally or entering tournaments together, here are 5 ways to make playing pickleball with your partner more enjoyable and keep the competition from spilling into your relationship.

1. Leave the Coaching to the Coaches

We’ve all been on the receiving end of unsolicited coaching from a partner on the pickleball court. Even when it’s well-intentioned, constant feedback can quickly turn a fun game into a frustrating one.

Before you step on the court, talk about what kind of feedback each of you wants. If you’re around the same skill level, many couples find it’s best to leave the coaching to a certified instructor and avoid critiquing each other’s play altogether.

If one partner is more experienced and helping the other learn the game, it’s especially important to communicate expectations. Ask questions like, “How much feedback do you want?” and “When do you want it?”

Some people like tips during a game, while others would rather wait until between games or even until they’re home.

Remember that not everyone wants coaching from their significant other, and that’s okay. Respecting each other’s preferences can prevent unnecessary tension and help keep pickleball what it’s was meant to be: fun.

2. Have a Short Memory

Whether you miss a shot or your significant other does, don’t let one mistake snowball into five. The best doubles teams have short memories. They reset, focus on the next point, and move forward together.

Sports psychologist Dr. Bob Rotella often emphasizes the importance of letting go of mistakes and focusing on the next shot. That mindset is just as valuable when you’re playing with your partner.

When one of you makes a mistake, resist the urge to dwell on it or let frustration take over. Encourage each other, reset, and focus on the next ball. The last point is over. The next one is the only one you can control.

3. Be Your Partner’s Biggest Supporter

Your significant other should feel like they have their biggest fan playing right next to them.

It’s easy to point out a missed serve, an easy volley, or a ball that should have been put away. Instead, make it a goal to focus on the positives.

If every comment you make is critical, you’re no longer showing up as a supportive partner. You’re showing up as another critic. Your role isn’t to point out every mistake. It’s to encourage, support, and help your partner enjoy being on the court with you.

A positive partner is one everyone wants to play with, especially the person you’re going home with.

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4. Control Your Side of the Court

If you find yourself getting frustrated with your significant other, take a moment to reset and shift your focus back to your own game. You can’t control your partner’s shots, decisions, or mistakes. You can only control your own attitude, effort, communication, and body language.

Instead of dwelling on what your partner could have done differently, focus on your next shot and how you can help your team succeed.

When you focus on what you can control instead of what you can’t, you’ll not only play better, but you’ll also be a better partner on and off the court.

5. Remember Why You’re Playing

It’s easy to get caught up in the score, but remember why you started playing together in the first place. Pickleball is supposed to be fun, and sharing a sport with your significant other is a great way to spend quality time together, challenge each other, and make new memories.

Not every match is going to be enjoyable. Losing isn’t fun, and there will be days when one of you is simply playing better than the other. That’s part of sports.

You chose to spend your free time together playing pickleball. Keep the competition in perspective, enjoy the process of improving together, and don’t let one bad game overshadow everything the sport has added to your relationship.

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